Write Before Thinking

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I wish I could write airplane books.

Through the course of writing Trailer Trash I’ve managed to write some truly awful things. And while some of them are of the “my God I can’t believe he just made fun of the disabled” nature, most of the offending passages aren’t so because they offend the sensibilities. They’re offensive simply because the writing is atrocious and comes from the mind of a no talent hack incapable of coming up with a single readable sentence.If you have ever written anything you know what I’m talking about. And while some of us have enough awareness and pride to recognize and edit our crap ass writing into something more palatable (and stronger), it seems like there are a large number of working writers who’ve made pretty good lives out of writing books laden with formulaic lazy writing. And because you can usually find these books in airport gift shops, I call them airplane books.Now I’m not saying I’m God’s gift to writing. Those guys are published writers. I’m not. But, I’ve got to know how in the hell they do it. I mean when I purge out a sentence or two of pure garbage I chastise myself for being such a pathetic waste of space. When I’m mired in a slump of piss poor writing my mood goes to hell and I curse myself for even thinking that I could make a career out of writing. I tell my ego that real writers actually have talent. Then I brood around the house for a few hours or days and brainstorm all the reasons why I should give up the craft and join the Army.As if killing insurgents will make me a better writer.

Sometimes I wish I could churn out predictable mass-market paperbacks. I wish I could be like any one of my favorite airplane novelists and bring the world yet another mindless and forgettable read. Really, if I could find a way to turn Trailer Trash into an espionage thriller, I would. Then I’d get published for sure.

Then again, maybe I’m not even good enough to be a bad writer. 

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